Millennial weddings are no place for unruly guests: NYT

The New York Times today features a story about the decrease of “sloppy” behavior by millennial wedding and party guests. It’s attributed partly to the fact that millennials are marrying later, and so guests are a bit more mature and wise with regards to alcohol.

I think that’s valid.

I mean, I got married in 2014; I was 29. Our wedding was mostly focused in one city in upstate New York (Hudson). Friday was rehearsal day, so we did that, then went to the dinner, then met our arriving friends and family members at a nearby bar. After that I peeled off with my brothers and dad for another round.


On the wedding day we had the usual events – dressing up, Mass, cocktail, reception, after-party. I heard no horror stories about my guests, and I don’t recall anyone being too loud or aggressive. That weekend was wonderfully focused on me and my wife. It was incredible.

My bachelor party was a daylong drinking trip. My brothers nabbed a bus, outfitted it with thrift-store furniture, and took me and some friends to two beer gardens, a Brazilian steakhouse, and a random house party. And everyone at the party was on good behavior.

If anything I was the loudest and most aggressive person at these functions because it was my day to celebrate and, as my friends know, when it’s my day and I drink, I can be a little bit of a hoot.

But it’s true: As we get older, we try not to be the one who spoils the party. We also have lived through plenty of television episodes and movies that poke fun of the wasted party guest. And social media plays a part – you don’t want to be the drunk one on Facebook or Instagram.

Also, the quote about these weddings now being marathons, and not sprints, is especially true. As I described, our wedding weekend was a full wedding weekend. We had plenty of Friday evening fun, a full Saturday planned out (while we took photos my wife’s family hosted a garden party for guests, with alcohol and tapas), and finished it off with the Sunday brunch. People know that these events are important, you don’t want to look bad, and you want to take in all the fun and festivity.

So basically, millennial couples getting married are more intensely focused on curating their celebration. In response, guests are considering how to celebrate. One way is to lessen the blow of libations. And thus, we get these fun, frolicking weekends without too much madness.